Well fuck me, I've not even started this blogging thing, and I've already got a follower. That's got to be some sort of fucking record. I'd like to say I'm surprised by this, but I think I know who this guy is, and I'm fairly sure he's only folowing me because he wants some homosexy times with me.
I don't have the heart to tell him I'm not gay. Admittedly, all my ex-boyfriends have been, but I don't think that necessarily tars me with the same brush.
So, what the hell to talk about..
Let me start with this simple statement. This country, this ConDem Nation in which we live, is a bit fucked. And by 'a bit', I mean completely and utterly. And by 'fucked', I mean ball-slappingly, thigh-chafingly, pooch-screwed.
But it's OK people, because we have a couple of new boys in the office who will sort it all out for us. And they know how to rock a good tie. Cameron, who is obviously the top in this relationship, goes for a full windsor, which as everyone knows is the knot of choice for public school boys, toffs and auteurs of auto-erotic asphyxiation everywhere. It offers that extra support that says 'not only do I know how to bring myself to a climax just as the lights start to go dim, but I can look classy whilst I'm doing it'.
That's the sort of leader I want. That's the sort of leader this country needs. Someone who is prepared to take risks. Someone who is prepared to take the difficult choices. Someone who is prepared to take Clegg roughly from behind over the ornate jacobean table in the Cabinet Rooms..
I can sum it up as this really. The Libs, the Labs, the Cons.. the politics are almost identical. They're all happy to screw us over to get what they want. I mean, they just grab that nightstick and just yeeeaaaah... Really go for it. But I'd rather visualise Cameron going balls-deep in Clegg, than even contemplate the thought of Brown rimming Prescott.
I mean, can you imagine either one of those, sweating and bearing down on you?
Jesus skateboarding Christ, it's almost enough to turn a guy straight...
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I like your thinking on the ties there. I'd feel more convinced if Paxman did a piece on it however.
ReplyDeleteIf only these politicians knew how to reach out to the gay demographic! You should consider a consultancy role. I like the cut of your political jib sir. Perhaps the governmental reform will take into account over whether we, the people, the voters, the nation, would like to see the politicians we are electing taking part in a naked Battle Royale or greasy any hole'll do penetrationathon. Winner takes all!
As for the following jibe - i accidentally clicked follow as i was searching out a good lock smith and got confused. I have looked all my naked girl porno into a cupboard and cannot get them out. The cupboard is antique (i think that makes it a wardrobe) andi cannot kick the door in despite my overwhelming urge to expire some of my heterosexuality.
I like politics though so i'll see where this goes.
How ironic, that you're stuck *out* of this closet you've got your 'ladyporn' in. I bet it's just full of heaving bosoms and vaginas and all sorts. God, you must be the most hetero person I know. And by hetero, I mean gay.
ReplyDeleteI think I'm on to something with the politics though. Get the candidates together, get them naked, lube them up, anyone who is penetrated balls-deep is eliminated.
Last man standing wins. And then they can show the losers the real meaning of winner takes all.
That part could be pay-per-view.
Jesus, not only could this solve the political crisis, but I could make a fucking killing..
My friend is a Marine and he says that they play a game called Thumb in the Bum wrestling. The rules are in the name i believe. This surely found grassroots in public schools. You could go Pay-Per-View on this. Simon Cowell has been threatening to get involved in political broadcasting.
ReplyDeleteyou forgot the other proponent of the windsor knot - premier league footballers. these guys are also regularly bumming each other, or so i am led to believe.
ReplyDelete