If you like it, then you shoulda put a FuckBook(tm) on it.

Well fuck me, I've not even started this blogging thing, and I've already got a follower. That's got to be some sort of fucking record. I'd like to say I'm surprised by this, but I think I know who this guy is, and I'm fairly sure he's only folowing me because he wants some homosexy times with me.
 I don't have the heart to tell him I'm not gay. Admittedly, all my ex-boyfriends have been, but I don't think that necessarily tars me with the same brush.

So, what the hell to talk about..
 
Let me start with this simple statement. This country, this ConDem Nation in which we live, is a bit fucked. And by 'a bit', I mean completely and utterly. And by 'fucked', I mean ball-slappingly, thigh-chafingly, pooch-screwed.
 
But it's OK people, because we have a couple of new boys in the office who will sort it all out for us.  And they know how to rock a good tie.  Cameron, who is obviously the top in this relationship, goes for a full windsor, which as everyone knows is the knot of choice for public school boys, toffs and auteurs of auto-erotic asphyxiation everywhere. It offers that extra support that says 'not only do I know how to bring myself to a climax just as the lights start to go dim, but I can look classy whilst I'm doing it'.
 
That's the sort of leader I want.  That's the sort of leader this country needs.   Someone who is prepared to take risks.  Someone who is prepared to take the difficult choices. Someone who is prepared to take Clegg roughly from behind over the ornate jacobean table in the Cabinet Rooms..
 
I can sum it up as this really. The Libs, the Labs, the Cons.. the politics are almost identical. They're all happy to screw us over to get what they want. I mean, they just grab that nightstick and just yeeeaaaah... Really go for it.  But I'd rather visualise Cameron going balls-deep in Clegg, than even contemplate the thought of Brown rimming Prescott.
 
I mean, can you imagine either one of those, sweating and bearing down on you? 
 
Jesus skateboarding Christ, it's almost enough to turn a guy straight...